Clothing Ourselves with Kindness

There are some clothes I'm sure we'd rather put on and some we'd rather not. Even when we do try on certain items we like it is not guaranteed that they are going to fit well. Something which the Bible advises followers of Jesus Christ to clothe themselves with is Kindness:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3v12)

Kindness is part of the Christian's spiritual clothing which fits well and is part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit that should be evident in their life:

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5v22)

There is an episode recorded in the life of Israel's King David which demonstrates kindness in action and draws parallels with God's kindness to us in Jesus Christ. The remarkable thing about it is that the beneficiary of David's kindness is the grandson of someone who had tried many times to harm or kill David. David's example of kindness in such circumstances has lessons for all of us. After David subdues the nations around him you might expect him to sit back in complacency. However, we see him pursue an unexpected course:

Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness...(2 Samuel 9v1)

Saul had died by this stage but he was the king who lost his way and made it his mission whilst alive to try and kill David or remove him from the picture. The reader of his story notes at least 24 incidents where he exhibits anger or jealousy about David or insecurity about the perceived threat of David to his kingdom or tries to get him killed or seriously injured (see 1 Samuel 18v8-12, 15, 17b, 25, 28-9; 1 Sam 19v1, 9-11, 20-3; 1 Sam 20v30-1; 1 Sam 23v8, 14-15,  25; 1 Sam 24v1-2; 1 Sam 26v1-3). Now seriously, would you want anything to  do with the family of someone who had it in for you like that? I believe that means David's response here warrants special attention. Let us look at what his kindness can teach us:

- HE ACTIVELY LOOKS TO DEMONSTRATE KINDNESS. There are those who harbour thoughts of retaliation after being wronged and those who look for opportunities to show kindness; David is the latter. He is looking around for a relative of Saul to help, asking questions, doing some investigating. He is being proactive about finding an opportunity for kindness and not waiting for one to fall into his lap. His efforts pay off - a servant of Saul is located and brought before David. The servant highlights the situation of Saul's disabled grandson Mephibosheth in a town east of the Jordan river (see 2 Sam 9v2-5). David is happy to wait for Mephibosheth (we'll refer to him as Meph) to be brought.

Showing kindness is worth the wait. David has time to reconsider as he waits but is not for turning in the kindness he wants to display.

- THE RECIPIENT MOVES FROM FEAR TO SECURITY. Meph. comes to David in fear and bows down to him (v6). Picture a mistreated dog cowering in fear and waiting to be hit again by its master and you're getting the idea behind Meph's tentative approach. David offers reassurance that there is no reason here to remain afraid (v7). People around us may have suffered all kinds of mistreatment. They do not easily anticipate being shown kindness. An act of kindness lifts them from a place of fear to one of security. 

- IDENTITY IS RECOVERED. Meph's learned self-identity is made clear: 

What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me? (v8)

Meph's self-esteem is at rock-bottom. He feels as good as dead (or might as well be). Demonstrating kindness bestows on those who need it a more healthy self-identity than the distorted one which may have been learned through mistreatment. Kindness leads them to a new sense of self-worth.

- KINDNESS RESTORES & ELEVATES. Meph. has lost identity, position, sense of value. His physical disability would have discounted him still further among society at the time. David restores to him the family lands and decrees he will from now on sit and eat at the king's table (v7), which means he will be like one of the kings sons (v11). This restoration and elevation could not have been envisioned by the grandson of David's enemy.The legacy of the dead and disgraced King Saul is being turned on its head by the alleged enemy. This is what kindness does; it turns a situation on its head. 

- KINDNESS = PROVISION. David gives instructions that the land restored to Meph. would be farmed for him and that the crops produced would provide for him (see v10). There are many who suffer lack in this world. As God positions us to help others Kindness is the clothing we should be wearing to channel much needed help and provision.   

- THE END OF HOSTILITY. David's kindness puts an end to hostilities between his house and that of Saul. 

Parallel between David's kindness and God's:

David isn't concerned only to demonstrate a measure of human kindness; he elaborates on the inspiration behind his passion for kindness:

Is there no-one still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show GOD'S kindness? (v3 emphasis mine)

David knew the kindness of God first hand through all those years on the run from Saul. We can only have a heart to show kindness as we are changed by our own experience of God's immeasurable kindness shown to us in Jesus Christ. David's kindness to Meph. points forward to God's kindness:

Meph. no longer made to feel like a dead dog but made to feel alive again. We have been made alive (spiritually) in Christ (Ephesians 2v5).

Meph. was not to be bowed down anymore but raised up and seated at the King's table. We have been raised up with Christ and seated with him in heavenly realms (Eph 2v6).

Meph. welcomed to the King's inner circle. We are no longer excluded from citizenship in Israel, no longer without hope and without God in this world. Now we have been brought near to God through the blood of Christ (Eph 2v12-13).

Any lingering hostility Mephibosheth imagined to exist between him and David (because of Saul) was broken down by David's kindness. Our sin (wrongdoing) built a wall of hostility between ourselves and God. This has been removed because of Christ's sacrifice. We now have peace with God (see Eph 2v14).

Meph. given access to the king and can approach his presence with freedom and confidence. Through Christ we have access to the presence of God the King of Kings and can approach with freedom and confidence (ref Eph 3v12).

Meph. treated like one of the King's sons and like an honorary member of the King's household. In Christ a spirit of fear is replaced with a spirit of sonship. We are God's (adopted) children. We are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8v15-17). We are members of God's household (Eph 2v19).

We can find those Mephibosheths around us if we are willing to look and be demonstrators of God's kindness made known to us in Christ. 'Supreme beneficiaries' need to become 'Supreme Demonstrators'. Let this be evident in our daily lives. 


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Having a Persuasive Life

I'm sure we have come across people who seem to be well practised in the art of persuasion. There are individuals who command a crowd and appear to influence others toward their way of thinking with great use of words or the sheer force of their powerful personality. At some level we all have experience of trying to influence and persuade others toward our way of thinking, with varying degrees of success. One way to surely fail in this is if we upset the people we are trying to persuade. A quote from the late Scottish preacher John Knox has always stuck with me:

you cannot antagonise and influence at the same time

Recently, I have been reading about a woman in the Bible named Lydia. She welcomed the message Paul and his companions were sharing and invited them to her home. This could've come across as a bit full on from someone they had only just met. However, Lydia demonstrated certain qualities which ultimately led to the closing remark:

And she persuaded us (see Acts 16v15b)

What was it about this woman which made her so persuasive and what can we learn from her example?

1) A PEOPLE PERSON. Lydia operated a business selling purple cloth (Acts 16v14), implying both that she dealt with a wide range of different people and that she had built up trust and respect with the community around her. This would have been unlikely if she wasn't a people person with a warm, friendly and inviting personality. Lydia had learned to engage with people at an everyday level. Too often Christians are perceived as 'oddballs' who struggle to speak with people about everyday stuff that concerns them. Jesus spoke to fishermen about fish, to shepherds about sheep, to tax collectors about money and so the list goes on. We need to be able to engage with other people's worlds before we can hope to move them over to our world. The church can learn from Lydia not to get lost in a world of Christian jargon and church meetings and to be people anyone is comfortable spending time with.  

2) OPEN TO INCONVENIENCE. Lydia invited Paul and his companions to her home (v15). Consider that this isn't just one person being invited but several. Add to this that Lydia doesn't just ask them to pop round for a quick visit but says 'Come and Stay'.

We are looking here at someone who is open and hospitable to others no matter how inconvenient it becomes.

Spending time with one person can be inconvenient for us never mind several at the same time. Lydia was not being asked to open her home to people she had barely met. No, she goes out of her way to do this and this act of inconvenience would in itself be very persuasive to Paul and his companions. It is an act of kindness and compassion, not wanting to see the group wandering the streets with nowhere to stay. It is an act which says to them 'I value you, I am interested in you and your well being'. When Barack Obama, the current American President, speaks to people, he makes them feel valued and that he genuinely cares about them. This is a call to inconvenience as the needs of people often present themselves when we may have other plans. We can learn to be more open to inconvenience. It doesn't have to start with opening our home up to people we barely know but let us take a step by just becoming more open to inconvenience for perhaps 10-15 mins everyday.

3) BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS. Lydia makes a conscious decision to allow her privacy to be invaded. She is open to sharing space in her life with others. Lydia was prepared for her relationship with people to go beyond the superficial level. By inviting Paul and his companions to 'come and stay' with her at her house she signals a willingness to let her guard down and let them see more of the real her.

We can easily avoid this type of 'sharing' in our lives as we maintain an outward front or we can, like Lydia, allow those barriers or walls to be broken down. This means becoming vulnerable without those defensive walls we are so good at building. It is not an easy process to let our guard down with people and trust them with more information about ourselves. However, to become more persuasive to those we hope to win over we need to become more genuine and breaking down these barriers is a necessary step in that process.

4) A CHANGED HEART. At the end of the day, Lydia is open to others, open to receiving house guests, open to inconvenience and open to relationship building because The Lord opened her heart (Acts 16v14b). There is nothing that wins over the heart of others more than a heart that has been changed or made open by the power of God. Lydia now wants to linger in the things of God. She doesn't want Paul and his companions rushing away. Her heart is bursting for more. She has made room in her heart for God to do more than pop in for a visit and this is spilling out in her persuasive openness to others. We need God to melt our hearts in this area. In our heart relationship with Him do we want a quick visit or do we crave His presence? A persuasive life is one which is lonely without the presence of God. When God's presence met with Moses in the tent, there would be some point when Moses would return to the camp but we read:

His young assistant Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent (see Exodus 33v11)

Joshua lingered in the presence of God. Lydia seeks to linger in what God is doing. Let us be people who linger with God, people who invite Him to 'come and stay'.  When God resides in our hearts, we experience transformation and a heart and life transformed by the power of God is irresistibly persuasive.

To summarise, having a persuasive life means being a people person, being open to inconvenience, breaking down barriers and inviting God to open your heart.


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Finding Strength

Life is very good at testing our resolve. There are times when we feel we are being pushed to breaking point and it is a struggle to carry on. This is true for everyone and does not stop being true when you put your faith in God.

In the Bible, David, who went on to become Israel's greatest king, had to face many battles. There was one occasion before he was king when he nearly lost his own life and this threat came not from the enemies he had been fighting but from those closest to him, who had fought alongside him and who he expected support from:

When David and his men came to Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive... David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters (1 Samuel 30v3,6)

David here is affected by this disaster just as his men are and so is going through the same turmoil they are:

David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep (1 Samuel 30v4)

David's men are blinded by the pain of their loss to such an extent that they want someone to point the finger at and David is in the firing line, never mind he might be suffering too. He's the one they have been following, it must be his fault they're facing such devastation. 

All of them including David are in so much pain and heartache that it must feel as though their insides are going to burst. They have reached 'The Breaking Point' and have completely spent their emotional reserves. They have nothing left! I'm sure David would've appreciated it if they all showed one another a bit of support at this difficult time. No chance, he's on his own! So, on top of his own distress he has to cope with being isolated and having his closest allies turn against him.

Distress can come suddenly when we are least prepared for it. It can also come with devastating force that completely uses up our emotional reserves in trying to cope. We might feel we've coped reasonably well with pressures thus far but then something happens which shakes us to the core:

- Our job security is taken away

- We experience the loss of a loved one

- We are confronted with the suffering of those close to us

- Those we trusted or thought we knew turn on us or let us down when we could really do with their support. 

Question> What do we do when our distress is so great that it feels like our insides are going to burst and that all strength is leaving us?

9 amazing words sum up the response of David in the Bible:

BUT DAVID FOUND STRENGTH IN THE LORD HIS GOD (1 Samuel 30v6b). 

When we hear a 'BUT' coming from someone it usually means any positives remarks made are about to be followed by one or more negatives. In this episode from David's life we see the opposite take effect; negative after negative after negative is followed by one immeasurable positive springing from this word 'BUT' and leading to all the overwhelming positives that are true in God. Let's glance at these 9 words that changed David's perspective:

BUT DAVID. He goes against the crowd and does not follow the path to despair others around him are heading towards. He turns away from the natural self-pity and inward bitterness arising from such trying circumstances. David turns from inward to Godward when all around are doing the opposite. 

FOUND STRENGTH. True strength to make it through the storm comes from God:

The Lord is my strength and shield (Psalm 28v7);

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46v1)

God is the source of our strength to carry on. Even though we may find a measure of strength from family, friends, doctors or other means of support our example here is David who found strength

IN THE LORD HIS GOD. How does this make the difference? Well, David knew His God and understood simply how to rest in all God is and to worship whom for who He is and what He has done. Recently I have been reading through the Old Testament and in the book of Deuteronomy the nation of Israel is urged at the outset of entering the 'Promised Land' to Remember the Lord their God and what He's done and to honour this in daily living. I leave us to ponder from the book of Deuteronomy how we may find strength as we grow in ever increasing awareness of Him who David knew to be THE LORD OUR GOD:

In Deuteronomy chapters 1-7 THE LORD OUR GOD:

- Increases (1v10)

- Gives (1v21)

- Goes before us (1v30)

- Fights for us (1v30)

- Carries us (1v31)

- Blesses (2v7)

- Watches over our journey (2v7)

- Is with us (2v7)

- Sees that we do not lack (2v7)

- Is near us as we pray (4v7)

- Brings us out of slavery (4v20)

- Is a consuming fire (4v24)

- Is a jealous God (4v31)

- Is a merciful God (4v31)

- Does not forget us (4v31)

- Is God; There's no other (4v35b)

- Has revealed His strength (4v37b)

- Has shown us His glory & majesty (5v24)

- Has chosen us (7v6)

- Is faithful

In Deuteronomy chapter 8 we are to remember that The Lord our God:

- Leads us (8v2)

- Humbles us (8v2,3)

- Tests us (8v2)

- Disciplines us (8v5)

In Deuteronomy chapter 10 we learn more about the Lord our God:

> to Him belong the heavens, highest heaven, earth & everything in it (10v14)

> He sets His affection on us, He loves us and chooses us (10v15)

> He is God of gods, the Lord of lords, The great God, Mighty & Awesome, shows no partiality, accepts no bribes (10v17)

> He defends the fatherless & widow, loves the alien/foreigner/refugee, giving them food & clothing (10v18)

> He is our Praise, He is our God. He has performed great & awesome wonders (10v21)

> He makes us numerous (10v22). Put another way He enlarges us, multiplies us, gives us momentum.

Let us consider all the above and like David FIND STRENGTH IN THE LORD YOUR GOD. 



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Wholeheartedness

We can be impressed at the dedication of those who show all out commitment to achieve desired results. One word which could be used to describe such people and such an approach is 'WHOLEHEARTED'.

God looks for those who are wholehearted. When King Saul's son Jonathan decided to attack an encampment of enemy soldiers it was just him and his armour-bearer, whom he asked for a show of support. The response from the armour bearer was one in a million: 

Do all that you have in mind...Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul (1 Samuel 14v7)

Let's break it down:

1) DO ALL THAT YOU HAVE IN MIND. We might not agree with all that someone has in mind but if a friend, loved one or someone we have close links to is looking for support from our corner, it does not serve the relationship well to negotiate our level of support. True support that is 'wholehearted' is offered during all that a person is going through. 

2) GO AHEAD. This gives the green light for action. No debate necessary, it's a done deal! The plans God has for us are acted upon in the lives of willing participants. As N.A.S.A might say at the end of a countdown to space launch 'it's a go for lift off'. This 'go ahead' mindset is a statement to God saying 'go ahead, your will be done through me'. It's also a statement towards forces opposed to God's will being fulfilled in us that declares, 'go ahead, bring it on, do your worst'! 

3) I AM WITH YOU. This speaks of solidarity with those God wants us to support, to get behind, to come alongside. It lifts a person to know someone is on their side, that someone will walk with them through whatever they are about to experience. It also echoes and is a necessary response to God's promise to be with us:

The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1v9b);

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age (Matthew 28v20).

4) HEART & SOUL. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart & soul etc (Deuteronomy 6v5; 10v12; 11v13; 13v3; 30v6), to obey His commands with all our heart & soul (26v16; 30v10), to serve Him with all our heart & soul (Joshua 22v5). 

Jesus identified the first and greatest commandment in the Written Law:  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul and with all your mind (see Matthew 22v37).

Are we with God Heart & Soul? Are we on board with His will for our lives? Are we serving His purposes in our generation with all our heart and soul? We are to love and serve with all our heart and soul. Do our Christian brothers & sisters know our love and support? Would they say we are with them heart & soul?

As we consider all this the challenge is to be in tune with the spirit of Jonathan's armour-bearer which speaks of wholeheartedness.

As we embrace 'wholeheartedness' we become 'carriers'. What do I mean? Well, the armour-bearer carried the armour for the one who would wear it. He was a carrier rather than one who needed to be carried. Question > Are we carriers or those who need to be carried? It is inevitable that we will move between both positions as we journey through life. Predominantly, we should move towards being carriers, for carriers become contributors instead of consumers. 

Summary Questions

- Is our response to God: It's a go for lift off?

- Do we reflect God's promise to be with us in our relationship with others?

- Are we responding to God's love & grace with all our heart & soul in our loving, obeying & serving?

- Have we become carriers or those who are being carried all the time? 


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