Having a Persuasive Life

I'm sure we have come across people who seem to be well practised in the art of persuasion. There are individuals who command a crowd and appear to influence others toward their way of thinking with great use of words or the sheer force of their powerful personality. At some level we all have experience of trying to influence and persuade others toward our way of thinking, with varying degrees of success. One way to surely fail in this is if we upset the people we are trying to persuade. A quote from the late Scottish preacher John Knox has always stuck with me:

you cannot antagonise and influence at the same time

Recently, I have been reading about a woman in the Bible named Lydia. She welcomed the message Paul and his companions were sharing and invited them to her home. This could've come across as a bit full on from someone they had only just met. However, Lydia demonstrated certain qualities which ultimately led to the closing remark:

And she persuaded us (see Acts 16v15b)

What was it about this woman which made her so persuasive and what can we learn from her example?

1) A PEOPLE PERSON. Lydia operated a business selling purple cloth (Acts 16v14), implying both that she dealt with a wide range of different people and that she had built up trust and respect with the community around her. This would have been unlikely if she wasn't a people person with a warm, friendly and inviting personality. Lydia had learned to engage with people at an everyday level. Too often Christians are perceived as 'oddballs' who struggle to speak with people about everyday stuff that concerns them. Jesus spoke to fishermen about fish, to shepherds about sheep, to tax collectors about money and so the list goes on. We need to be able to engage with other people's worlds before we can hope to move them over to our world. The church can learn from Lydia not to get lost in a world of Christian jargon and church meetings and to be people anyone is comfortable spending time with.  

2) OPEN TO INCONVENIENCE. Lydia invited Paul and his companions to her home (v15). Consider that this isn't just one person being invited but several. Add to this that Lydia doesn't just ask them to pop round for a quick visit but says 'Come and Stay'.

We are looking here at someone who is open and hospitable to others no matter how inconvenient it becomes.

Spending time with one person can be inconvenient for us never mind several at the same time. Lydia was not being asked to open her home to people she had barely met. No, she goes out of her way to do this and this act of inconvenience would in itself be very persuasive to Paul and his companions. It is an act of kindness and compassion, not wanting to see the group wandering the streets with nowhere to stay. It is an act which says to them 'I value you, I am interested in you and your well being'. When Barack Obama, the current American President, speaks to people, he makes them feel valued and that he genuinely cares about them. This is a call to inconvenience as the needs of people often present themselves when we may have other plans. We can learn to be more open to inconvenience. It doesn't have to start with opening our home up to people we barely know but let us take a step by just becoming more open to inconvenience for perhaps 10-15 mins everyday.

3) BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS. Lydia makes a conscious decision to allow her privacy to be invaded. She is open to sharing space in her life with others. Lydia was prepared for her relationship with people to go beyond the superficial level. By inviting Paul and his companions to 'come and stay' with her at her house she signals a willingness to let her guard down and let them see more of the real her.

We can easily avoid this type of 'sharing' in our lives as we maintain an outward front or we can, like Lydia, allow those barriers or walls to be broken down. This means becoming vulnerable without those defensive walls we are so good at building. It is not an easy process to let our guard down with people and trust them with more information about ourselves. However, to become more persuasive to those we hope to win over we need to become more genuine and breaking down these barriers is a necessary step in that process.

4) A CHANGED HEART. At the end of the day, Lydia is open to others, open to receiving house guests, open to inconvenience and open to relationship building because The Lord opened her heart (Acts 16v14b). There is nothing that wins over the heart of others more than a heart that has been changed or made open by the power of God. Lydia now wants to linger in the things of God. She doesn't want Paul and his companions rushing away. Her heart is bursting for more. She has made room in her heart for God to do more than pop in for a visit and this is spilling out in her persuasive openness to others. We need God to melt our hearts in this area. In our heart relationship with Him do we want a quick visit or do we crave His presence? A persuasive life is one which is lonely without the presence of God. When God's presence met with Moses in the tent, there would be some point when Moses would return to the camp but we read:

His young assistant Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent (see Exodus 33v11)

Joshua lingered in the presence of God. Lydia seeks to linger in what God is doing. Let us be people who linger with God, people who invite Him to 'come and stay'.  When God resides in our hearts, we experience transformation and a heart and life transformed by the power of God is irresistibly persuasive.

To summarise, having a persuasive life means being a people person, being open to inconvenience, breaking down barriers and inviting God to open your heart.


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